{"product_id":"dad-humour-t-shirt-witness-protection-funny-cotton-tee","title":"Dad Humour T-Shirt | Witness Protection Funny Cotton Tee","description":"\u003ch2 data-section-id=\"3hydug\" data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"51\"\u003e“Witness Protection” – Funny Dad Escape Plan Tee\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"53\" data-end=\"174\"\u003eEvery dad eventually discovers the truth:\u003cbr data-start=\"94\" data-end=\"97\"\u003ethe bathroom isn’t a bathroom anymore… it’s a secure undisclosed location. 🚽\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"176\" data-end=\"467\"\u003eThis darkly funny graphic tee celebrates the sacred parental survival tactic with bold block lettering reading \u003cem data-start=\"287\" data-end=\"309\"\u003e“WITNESS PROTECTION”\u003c\/em\u003e alongside a simple black-and-white illustration of a dad seated on the throne — aka the only room in the house where peace and quiet still technically exist.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"469\" data-end=\"721\"\u003eIt’s a tongue-in-cheek tribute to the modern father’s tactical retreat: five glorious minutes of silence hidden behind a locked door while chaos unfolds somewhere outside. No snacks. No questions. No mysterious sticky hands appearing under the doorway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"723\" data-end=\"1047\"\u003ePrinted on soft, breathable cotton with a relaxed classic fit, this tee feels comfortable from the first wear and only gets better with time. The clean crewneck silhouette keeps things simple while the graphic delivers the joke loud and clear to anyone who’s ever “needed the bathroom” for suspiciously long periods of time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1049\" data-end=\"1193\"\u003ePerfect for school runs, weekend BBQs, hardware store missions, or sitting motionless in the driveway for two extra minutes before going inside.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1195\" data-end=\"1299\"\u003eBecause sometimes you’re not hiding from responsibilities…\u003cbr data-start=\"1253\" data-end=\"1256\"\u003eyou’re just entering witness protection. 😌\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-section-id=\"9n3n4e\" data-start=\"1301\" data-end=\"1316\"\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1317\" data-end=\"1585\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"8jqotd\" data-start=\"1317\" data-end=\"1366\"\u003eDads running on caffeine and survival instincts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"sykllx\" data-start=\"1367\" data-end=\"1417\"\u003eParents who understand “quiet time” is priceless\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"prkpkd\" data-start=\"1418\" data-end=\"1462\"\u003eFather’s Day gifts with actual personality\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"uqg29l\" data-start=\"1463\" data-end=\"1514\"\u003eBBQs, errands, casual weekends, and school pickup\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"9fewv3\" data-start=\"1515\" data-end=\"1585\"\u003eAnyone who’s ever taken their phone into the bathroom “for a minute”\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-section-id=\"bfe9be\" data-start=\"1587\" data-end=\"1607\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1608\" data-end=\"2038\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"oze4pf\" data-start=\"1608\" data-end=\"1672\"\u003e100% cotton solid-color fabric for breathable, durable comfort\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1x07z6c\" data-start=\"1673\" data-end=\"1730\"\u003eMedium-weight 180 g\/m² fabric ideal for year-round wear\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"scymee\" data-start=\"1731\" data-end=\"1795\"\u003eTubular knit construction with no side seams for a cleaner fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"162e3k7\" data-start=\"1796\" data-end=\"1854\"\u003eRibbed knit collar and shoulder tape help maintain shape\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1nq01vp\" data-start=\"1855\" data-end=\"1910\"\u003eCrisp DTG and DTF printing for bold, lasting graphics\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"a8gpu2\" data-start=\"1911\" data-end=\"1956\"\u003eTear-away label for irritation-free comfort\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1ulum59\" data-start=\"1957\" data-end=\"1987\"\u003eOeko-Tex certified materials\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1xbg5fl\" data-start=\"1988\" data-end=\"2038\"\u003eEthically sourced cotton with EU 2-year warranty\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-section-id=\"dfymt4\" data-start=\"2040\" data-end=\"2061\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2062\" data-end=\"2184\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"iarhf5\" data-start=\"2062\" data-end=\"2097\"\u003eMachine wash cold (max 30C \/ 90F)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1xnqg24\" data-start=\"2098\" data-end=\"2119\"\u003eTumble dry low heat\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"j19416\" data-start=\"2120\" data-end=\"2151\"\u003eNon-chlorine bleach as needed\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"g8u3nw\" data-start=\"2152\" data-end=\"2165\"\u003eDo not iron\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"u31nks\" data-start=\"2166\" data-end=\"2184\"\u003eDo not dry clean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-section-id=\"1tek5pd\" data-start=\"2186\" data-end=\"2209\"\u003eProduct Information\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2210\" data-end=\"2407\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"17k5m78\" data-start=\"2210\" data-end=\"2223\"\u003eGildan 5000\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1ne44yv\" data-start=\"2224\" data-end=\"2243\"\u003eMade in Nicaragua\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"l6fqhh\" data-start=\"2244\" data-end=\"2265\"\u003eIntended for adults\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"5yki44\" data-start=\"2266\" data-end=\"2407\"\u003eEU Representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED\u003cbr data-start=\"2310\" data-end=\"2313\"\u003e\u003ca data-start=\"2315\" data-end=\"2338\" class=\"decorated-link cursor-pointer\" rel=\"noopener\"\u003egpsr@honsonventures.com\u003c\/a\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"2338\" data-end=\"2341\"\u003e3, Gnaftis House Flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, Cyprus\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2409\" data-end=\"2484\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003eThe lock clicks.\u003cbr data-start=\"2425\" data-end=\"2428\"\u003eThe world fades away.\u003cbr data-start=\"2449\" data-end=\"2452\"\u003eWitness protection activated. 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